1. Started listening to this chinese song I discovered on my friend's blog two nights ago and am liking it. It's a melancholic/sentimental song sung in an angelic, smoky voice accompanied with crisp acoustic guitar sounds...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oitNcSMcpYg&feature=related

brings back memories of chinese stuff - chinese songs, chinese blogs, chinese novels, chinese dramas, chinese karaoke, etc etc...

2. what a busy week it's been - i've had activities every weeknight this week, only to be continued this weekend...

Last Sunday: Alvin, Daniel and I went to the city in the evening to take photos. our first serious photo-taking session. we all got a number of mozzie bites...the price to pay. but it was fun and fulfilling, and i'm ecstatic with some of the shots i'd taken which i'm really proud of...(been showing them to friends and colleagues and printed a few *grin*)

Monday: Eva called for dinner at her place - we had leftovers from her birthday party last weekend.

Tuesday: moved from level 22 to level 11 in my office building on tuesday. really sad to leave the fun, easygoing people upstairs :( i miss their lame jokes and funny pranks. i miss the office layout upstairs - the convenience of the access to the kitchen and toilet. Most of all, i simply miss the people on level 22: Smatty, Duy, Tina, Shaz, Sherry, Scaryann, Doddy, Jeya, Steve, Colin, Tops, Jeffy, Jules, Pete, William, Yvonne, and so on... T_T

level 11 sucks. everyone down here looks dead serious and tense at work. everyone's really quiet and boring, making this place so sleep-inducive it's like the korean massage place I used to go to...

to go to the toilet and kitchen we have to swipe our security access card to get in and out the door - which is pretty inconvenient for all especially when we're juggling a lot of stuff in our hands...and the aircon on level 11 chills me to the bones...and it makes me look real silly wearing/carrying a jacket to work in this season.

went to church prayer meeting at night.

Wednesday: went swimming at Hibiscus pool. met some friends from ablaze after we came out of the shower and chatted for a short while. then headed home for a quick shower before meeting Tash at her place. had a long chat about stuff...in the midst of which Charlotte called...

later that night after i got home and got ready for bed i remembered to return Charlotte's call...and ended up chatting with her for a few hours. what a comfort to hear from her at a time when i was feeling kinda down inside with all the things going on currently...

i'm really glad and excited that she might be coming in august! woohoo. and we might be going to melbourne for weekend together :) can't wait to catch up with her in person once again...

Thursday: went to a women's event at BCC with 6 other girls from church. theme was called "she is free" and the speaker preached about saying goodbye to baggage. it was a powerful and liberating message. she spoke with raw honesty, openness and conviction about how we women tend to accumulate a lot of emotional, spiritual, physical, mental baggage over time and we live day after day carrying all that baggage around with us and it hinders us from running our race in life effectively.

Friday: hmm...

Saturday: gonna help the safron girls move across the street to their new rental home in the morning, and then go to koorong in the afternoon to get a couple of books - one for Dan and one for myself, and later in the evening the few of us are gonna celebrate Po's 24th birthday with him in Rosalie. woohoo

Sunday: gonna read my new book in the afternoon after church, then go swimming/cycling, and at night sing my monday blues...

1. haven't had regular exercise for about 2 years now...i really feel the toll on my old body already. i remember those days when i danced more often, i was so much more alive on a daily basis, and i had a stronger back than i do now. tonight as i got back into dancing once again, i could really feel the stiffness in my lower back. about half an hour later, i could shake my bum bum just like the old times again...then i tried on the heels...

2. danced in heels for the first time tonight. oh man it felt so good i wanna do it again. i'm lovin' it. victoria beckham once said that she loved dancing in heels because it toned her legs. well, there's only one way to find out. we'll see in a few months' time, hopefully...

3. went to see 'he's just not that into you' last night with S. at first i didn't quite like the movie as i thought it was kinda boring at the beginning, and i had the impression it was all about the different kinds of problems or bad things you can ever think of in all the different kinds of relationships. and then, halfway into the movie, i was liking it already. i even cried during a very touching scene towards the end of the movie... and i was chastised, as usual, for crying in almost every movie I've seen with S. haha.

i liked the overall script - it was witty, unreserved, honest, open, and emotion-filled.

i wouldn't say it is the best movie i've seen so far nor is it my number 1 favourite movie, yet it lingers in my mind and leaves me reading between the lines long after i've left the cinema...

Random

1. Sunday nights fill me with dread for Monday mornings. I was already listening to the song 'Manic Monday' tonight while ironing work shirts and pants for the week ahead.

2. Dan killed a cane toad in the backyard tonight after I saw it first and screamed - I have a phobia of all creepy crawlies and amphibians. It was pretty gross, the intestines bursting out and all. Hope I don't get a nightmare tonight.

3. Been feeling really bloated all day long. I suspect that time of the month is near. Other obvious symptoms include dry skin and slight eczema flare-ups (must be due to change of hormones around this time?!). Bugger.

4. I want to record a video of myself doing something funny...

5. Dex hasn't been around to visit us for days...I miss him. Will I see you tomorrow, Dex? Meow?

6. Running out of a lot of personal essentials lately - facial scrub, body scrub, clearing gel, moisturizer, and most importantly the money to buy all these things! pffffff

7. Heard a good saying this morning in church: "There is a difference between the act of saving and recognizing the value of saving".

Heartcry

change my heart, O God...
help me to stop complaining about life and everyone else...
help me to show love and compassion especially to those who just need a kind and loving word from me to make their day...
help me not to criticise others, especially my loved ones, about their littlest faults and flaws...
help me to take a good hard look at myself and start with the person in me...

change my heart, O God...
let me be slow to anger, slow to speak...
let me be quick to listen and listen with heart and love...
let me not be quick to give my own opinions and corrections...
let me be patient and understanding towards others, as well as give up of my self-centredness for their benefit...

change my heart, O God, and my character...
teach me to cry like You cry...
teach me to hope like You hope...
teach me to love like You love...
teach me to accept others like You accept me.

Note to self

If someone always has to put others down in order to feel better of himself, let him.

There is no point in arguing with such a person, because he will always have the need to demean others to create some sense of security for himself in life.

Can't wait to move to my new desk :)

Disappointed

I lent a spare mobile phone to a friend a few months ago without hesitation when he asked.

A few weeks ago, Mum asked if I had a spare phone that she could use, so I asked this friend if I could get my phone back.

He mailed the phone and charger to me on Monday and this morning I got the parcel at work. When I cut open the parcel and took the phone out, I was stunned for a moment. It looked trashed. It went out in one fine piece and came back bruised and battered.

I sent him an sms after work on the way home: "Hi J. Got the phone today. It looks pretty trashed. What'd u do wtih it? Drop it around? I'm pretty sure there weren't as many scratches when I lent it to u."

Somehow I just decided I wasn't going to say "it's okay" to all kinds of crap from people anymore.

How inconsiderate and irresponsible of someone to treat someone else's property like that. So much for a friend. And no reply from him whatsoever.

And is it any wonder why I am sometimes reluctant to lend out stuff especially to those who simply do not come across as responsible or prudent people?

Will I easily lend out my stuff to friends again? *shrug*

Depends...

my crazy fiend, oh i mean friend, easily gets reminded of WEIRD things by VEGETABLES (particularly the SHAPES of the vegetables). yup. how WEIRD is THAT??

Last night D suddenly had the inclination to go to melbourne for OC in april. asked me if i wanted to go with him. i said no. i had my own valid reasons. but i encouraged him to go nevertheless if he really felt he should go.

But somehow i'm feeling a bit sad already to think that he might go without me and i'd probably miss him... :(

yet i wanna try to be a strong girl and think that i will be fine by myself for a few days...

oh well. /_\

Dammit. Why do I have this feeling again?? I'm always and forever envying other women who seem to have it all: good looks, slender figures, adorable families, progressive careers, loving and wonderful (and sometimes hot/good-looking!) boyfriends/fiances/husbands! Arrgghh___

I then look at myself: not pretty, spotty- and swarthy-skinned, flabby, old (gasp)....you name it. Ughh.

What on earth is wrong with me? I want to stop envying other people for once. But most of the time I just can't help it.

God please help me be content.

Australia Day / CNY

1. went to sister's in-laws' house for CNY dinner last night. what a feast it was. all single-handedly prepared and cooked by her mother-in-law. wow. i HAD to be impressed. after dinner, we stopped by my sister's place just to hang out for a bit more, chit-chat, and play wii...

2. went to wellington point again this morning - for the third time this year. hehe. this time dan and i actually went swimming. about 2 hours later, we were on all fours picking out pipis and shells on the sandbar...

...didn't really get too many pipis, just a handful. enough for a couple of mouthfuls for lunch...


3. stopped by this new asian grocery store near our place on the way home. most of the prices were identical although some items were slightly cheaper while some others slightly more expensive. i noticed mainly that the prices for some of the steamboat stuff were more expensive than those at yuen's. so, if steamboat's on my agenda, i guess i'll be heading to yuen's for the groceries. otherwise, this store looks fine to me. and not to mention they accept EFTPOS for purchases of $10 or more, whereas yuen's stands by their cash-only policy...

4. bought brown sugar and glutinous rice powder to make the CNY kueh. hahahah WOOHOO. it's gonna be my first attempt at it. i'm so excited already. i'm really into MIY stuff lately. i'm aspiring to make the chinese kueh by myself, make red wine at home (need to find out where to get a wine-making kit first), bake cakes for family and friends for all occasions, etc...wahahahaha.

5. can't remember the last time i had 'cincalok'. but saw it at the asian grocery store and got a bottle...

...and this is what we had for lunch...yum!

6. it's true that sometimes the simplest things in life are simply the most satisfying...

what a stark contrast to the feast we've just had last night. yet, we felt truly satisfied after this simple meal of personally-handpicked pipis, cincalok, and brown rice! and of course, how can we forget the famous Bundaberg ginger beer, right??

7. bought this new brand of my favourite taiwanese snack today...
...which is really just a packet of biscuit balls made of starch, EGGS and MILK (well...skim milk, so it says) with no nutritional value or whatsoever. but the ridiculous thing is, for whatever idiotic reason, they deemed it necessary to emphasise on the "egg & milk flavour" on the packaging.

DUH, it's not like any other flavour has ever been produced for this kind of snacks anyway... And, what's with the celebrity endorsement for such $2.75 egg-&-milk-flavour biscuit ball snacks...?

1. Some people live through life an angry person just because they find it hard to confront others right in their faces, while there are ones who simply have all the guts in the world to say whatever is on their minds to others, and think that doing so is cool because they're just being straightforward/direct/honest/standing up for themselves...as well as simply being INSENSITVE to others (not that they would have ever thought about this, I guess).

2. Sometimes I wish I travelled more, saw more of the world out there, and had a broader mindset.

men are from mars, and women from venus?

well, i can only half agree with that.

yes i can say i'm a typical, ordinary woman from venus. but Dan has GOTTA be from Pluto or something - the furthest planet away from Earth! hahaha

1. what a hot and humid summer day. free sauna at home. woohoo.

2. cleaned up the house this morning together with Dan. he vacuumed and i mopped. machine currently running with our laundry. we've got a few more rounds to do, i reckon. gotta vacuum my own room next.

3. looks cloudy outside...hope it rains a bit more. our water tank's kinda thirsty i believe. thanks.

4. Dan tried calling jpark this morning but to no avail. wonder if he's still alive and kickin'. by the way, i need to get my phone and charger back from him. sigh.

5. gonna catch Gran Torino and Valkyrie this afternoon and evening. woohoo :D

6. my life needs a revamp.

7. going to beach tomorrow!!!!!!!! :D WOOHOOOOOOOOO.

1. wow. what a week it's been. emotionally, mentally and physically draining.
family issues, relationship problems, job concerns, spiritual and emotional turmoils...basically tears, laughter and snot all in one shot!
but thank God by the end of today, things are getting better already! i trust God will carry me through every circumstance no matter how difficult it may seem..

2. early this week i kinda resolved to never set up any blogs online or whatsoever again, and turned to journal writing in pen and paper. and i bought this really nice and pretty journal from DJ on sale. woohoo. but because it's been a couple of years since i last wrote in a journal, my once-beautiful handwriting was now almost unrecognisable to myself...

3. had a great evening at eva's new home last night, catching up with a bunch of good ol' friends...dinner was pretty good, although i must say i'm not really a fan of soba salad...
all in all, it was simply a great time spent with Antonious (so he wished to be known as), Serene, Charlie, Linda, Frankie, Eva, Daniel and myself! grin

4. had a good chat with Daniel about deep stuff yesterday, and today after talking to my oldest sister in sydney over the phone for about half an hour, most of the cloud that was in my mind had started to clear..

5. wrote myself a book-reading list for 2009:
- Treasured Friends
- Victory over the darkness
- Boundaries
- Managing your emotions
- Become a better you
- Life without strife (revisit)

now i just pray i'd be disciplined enough to stick it out...

6. walked around the mall after work today while waiting for Dan. went to try on the birkenstocks again. i really like them but at the same time i have to acknowledge they are pretty expensive for SLIPPERS! and realistically thinking, i'd probably only be wearing slippers on weekends...and most likely on saturdays only! so, i'm just wondering to myself whether i'd really want to pay $129.95 for a pair of weekend slippers...

7. next, i saw this very pretty bag at nine west, which looked quite nice on me too...except i almost choked when i saw the price tag: $189 for a piece of "Made in China" bag. yeah right. pretty as it may be, i just don't really agree with its price, that's all. and i was even told by the salesgirl that "it's a copy of the latest Dolce & Gabbana bag". Like, i would ever pay almost $200 for an imitation bag?! Get real.